I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I love black thongs
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
