People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You can't motorboat a personality
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
