It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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