she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Randomize
