hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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