i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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