Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
