Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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