What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
