Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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