Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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