I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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