You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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