I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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