I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
