I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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