Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize