Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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