You can't special order awesome
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're too hungover to prance.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize