Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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