shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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