I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
