if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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