you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
