You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
