It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
