I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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