You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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