Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So vagazzling was a success
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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