I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
