FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
