Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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