You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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