he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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