what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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