she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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