just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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