Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize