We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
