trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
it's great music for shaving your balls
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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