that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
