I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
