my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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