OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
