Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They took my balls.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
