my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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