All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
