I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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