wat bout pragnant strippers??
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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