found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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