Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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