i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
