I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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