I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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