Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
