It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
