She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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