I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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