Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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