i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
