last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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