I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
