what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
