I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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